My daily life with my brains

It's never quiet.

I can't say is it adhd, Bipolar, fibromyalgia or just some personality thingie.

I'm not sure can I explain this at all.
But I try.

There's never quiet in my head, my thoughts are rabid and in constant movement. Sometimes there's some cotton candy around em, making me even harder to follow my already irrational thought patterns.

When I'm awake I can keep it under control by pure force of will and keeping myself busy, so I always seem to be on the move. Doing something with my fingers, tapping with leg. Drawing, painting, making my family mad by joking, dancing… whatever my broken body let me do. All physical activity and movement helps.

Also stories help, reading books, watching movies and tv-shows all good stories take a hold of my mind and ease the constant anxiety, the bigger, more complicated and truly imaginative story gets the better. Realistic detective, modern warfare, capitalism glory stories are mostly useless because my brains can easily see where the story goes, but in fantasy, scifi and horror, there's doors that story can take and my brains are happy.

Good conversation, oh that helps, but there's difficulties because my mind has custom to lost interest, see a bird and forget everything, listen familiar music and start to sing a long. I might remember something in middle of my or your sentence and start to speak about that and forget all before. My “stories” will be bumpy, jumpy, hard to follow and rambling much. I forget common words like, cheese, but can tell what happened in that one episode of Farscape in season four.

My brains won't silent even for night. That's usually the hardest time.
Lie on the bed, try not to bother wife, be silent, not to move,  THATS when they attack. Dark and stupid stuff, scary stuff, light paranoia.

Or

I just go trough novel ideas, master plans for some game, get four to five movie ideas and forget em all before get up to find paper.
For that, I thankfully have found audiobooks. Audiobooks help me sleep. Again stories keep my brains so occupied that I can sleep.

That is my daily life.