Don't read this post.

Yeah, that's always scary.

So what have I been thinking now? Well, I think I might be some kind of conspiracy theorist, but is it actually theory if we can see it all around, all we need to do is open eyes?

I've been thinking that why I think people are useless and stupid.

Well the easy way is to say, that because most of them are.

It's only sensible explanation for why capitalism has taken the place of God or Gods, why we (yes I do think I'm part o the problem) are destroying the one place where life as we know it did get started and have kept us living (fore the slower ones of you, I mean Earth, the Planet. 3th rock from the sun). How could I, who see all the idiotic, useless, pure evil and puppet leaders around me, have any brighter thoughts about the race that I'm part of?

We the humans, we have intelligence and technology and means to fix things, go to stars and save Earth. We've had it for years now, but because we are sheep we believe governments and corporations who only care for the all mighty capitalism and keep saying it's only system that works, well, it doesn't, it never has.

We could be on stars and we could have turn the things around here in earth, but for the fucksake we keep doing the opposite. To my understanding it can be only because we are selfish and evil and stupid. Specially the so called leaders, but also those fuckers who let those leaders be in power.

How can we be so blind to see what is happening? How can we not want to fix this? Why do we just watch how Governments and corporations keep destroying everything..

It's not true what they say about capitalism, it doesn't keep us living, it destroys us. Because of it, parts of earth are suffering from hunger, nature is dying (well actually I believe it's mutating to ways it can get rid of the disease that is us.) The funny part is that, I'm 100% sure that earth will survive, it's us the humans whom we are destroying.

I do sounds quite depressed, but actually I'm optimistic.

What's there to be optimistic you ask?

Because I see the youth, I see even my own generation have some brains and potential. Even that older generations don't give a fuck, and are more interested to get money than thinking of future of their children and grandchildren, but some of my generation have decided to live their life different way, I am, I've been growing among forest, I have always been felt aliened the life around me, the money worship, believe that job brings joy, that governments mean good for the people, that corporations give fuck of us, non of is true, it's just that we have been brainwashed to believe it's the only way, and now, when the youth have waken to see it, governments and corporations are fighting even harder to keep the brainwash on, ruining the school systems, crapping on healthcare, stealing support from those in need.

There's no trushworthy media anymore, They are trying to take over the internet, taking money from schools and libraries... doing all they can to limit the way to get information.

But... it won't stop this. THEY CAN'T STOP YOU!
Take over the world young people, let the babyboomers drown in their own filth, you save what's left. Don't mind us, we had our chance, we didn't take it. 

It's a weird thing

It just hit me
That most of the medicine that doctors have told me to eat are, in the streets REEEEAALLY liked stuff. 

I'm not selling, don't worry about that. 
But it does make one wonder, wonder that what does those do to me, and how hypocritical it is for doctors, the same doctors who have told me to eat these highly addictive drugs do admit that quite normal cannabis could work better. Yet.. Cannabis is illegal. 

Do I smell capitalism here? Drug companies make drugs, get big money out of it (bigger money from other countries than from here, but still) and it feel to me that the same corporations  that make big money from their chemicals... wait.. did the font just change? ... are behind that light cannabis is still illegal in so many countries.. Because... It would be ouf of their pockets if normal people could grow their own medicine? It did change, and Blogger wont let me change it back or anything else... weird.

No, I don't know would cannabis help my pains or my constant brain difficulties. I do have friends in countries where cannabis is legalish or, some cases where Doctors just dare to write it to patients more than here, and some of them suffer similar... difficulties, and they do get help from these... natural herbs.

Well, I'm quite sure, that I will never know. Finland is promised land of the alcohol, our government does not dare to do much about that because we have still so strong, "It's normal to be drunk as hell every weekend" mentality and most of our nations problems are caused by alcohol one way or another... but it's illegal to grow a weed that help ones pain and ease the mind.

Yeh, I know it might cause some problems too, I say might, because, funny enough, all the scientific data I've seen this far has told the opposite.

Well, I eat my doctor orders drugs. Keep on trying to find some help from "Modern Western Medical science" because sadly, I don't want to try my luck with the law. Because I'm sick, unemployed man and I've seen we don't have much rights in here.

There seems to be small misunderstanding

I've noticed that people around me seems to think I'm a pessimist, wishing for end of the world. Or at least end of Human civilization as it's now. That I hate humans! It's not completely true.

I'm not pessimist, I'm more like realist. I've been following what is happening around the globe, not only what humans are doing but also what is happening to the ground and weather (well part of that also is doings of humans). There's lot's of humans that I care deeply, it's just humans as specie that I despise. For reasons unclear to me, we as specie seem to be driven to destroy our self, hurt everything around us and be just complete assholes. It's interesting how even smart and kind humans, when gathered around with "other kinds " seem to lost em self and behave like sheep.

I use quite easy example. There's USA. Nation that has been quite modern, until reason only to know by them self's, they choose to be lead clown-idiot. Now, they keep follow that idiot-clown even that IT has shown again and again that he has no brains, no talent in business (funny fact, lot's of artist have made more successful business that that so called business man). At the moment that country is in situation where they are so shamed of who they let to be the leader, that they can't say how they regret it but just try to lie to em self's because they are so shamed to admit that they fall in that.

Seriously, why did YOU do it? Can't you read? Don't you follow new's, check facts..

Back to subject at hand... The worse thing in all this is, that there's generation who can be blamed (No, there has been always been good people in every generation, sadly in this generation the good people seem to be so small portion that they just could not do anything to the selfish assholes.)

I see how, I don't know how to call em.. the people who get birth from the parents who survived the great war.. those who got it easy, are destroying everything for the next generations. as said, not all of that generation is utter arsehats, but way too many. They got easy schooling, could just walk in and get a job, bought a house with money that today you can't get even decent car. And still, they keep shaming youngsters, who struggle because THEY, the generation before, made everything so hard.

But no. I'm not hoping for end of the world. I'm still hoping that humans, as specie wake up. stops the capitalism, the number one reason why everything is so complete shit. Stop killing the earth and our self.

--

Why do people worship money so? That I cannot understand. We live in world, where it would be just easy to keep everyone fed and under roof, but instead because of Capitalism others have decided to focus their whole life only to make em rich and others poor. You know, that's how capitalism work? It's all about making rich richer and rest poorer.

--

My therapist ones explained this to me.. I am extremely sensitive guy, her guess was that I've been really sensitive kid... but for reasons unknown at the moment, I felt the need to protect my self and build huge wall around me, and therefore I seem quite cold to outside.

And it is true, I do feel for others, I can see what others feel, but I don't want to. Because... I have enough of my own problems. SO.. being cold and bit ... bitch... I just  try to keep humans far.

It's Christmas blog... correction.. It's Yule blog.

Christmas, that true, capitalism power celebration, time of the year for most suicides, most domestic violence and on top of that, lot's of people who really don't have money, still waste all the money for gifts.

Still, I love Christmas. I just strongly fight against the Coca Cola- Santa, and corporation demand for gifts for all. Christmas is pagan celebration, church start to ruin it, but because paganism is strong in people, they gave up and decided it's birthday of middle-eastern guy.

Don't know what it tells about we Finnish, but our word for Christmas is Joulu, that's quite close the original pagan name of this celebration, Yule.

Anyhow... To me, Christmas/Yule is time of relax, family and good food. Basically I'm rooting for basic Yule idea, before christians ruined it.. Basically Yule is about drinking, eating and fucking.

oh well..

I know I'm not alone in this. I know there's a lot of people who feel the same way. How Beautiful celebration has been turned to slave people, slave to corporations, waste money to nothing.

I wait Christmas/Yule, first time for long time.I, directly, haven't bought any presents. Indirectly there has been one gift bought. One gift we made by our self, and I have not bothered my head by any more gifts.

Yule is not about gifts, it never was, and I wont go in to any more about that, if you are interested there's something in wikipedia about that.. too

I just wanted to let you know, that even that I hate the capitalism and how it has ruined this beautiful winter fest.. I still love it. Not because of gifts.. or decoration.. Eating is big part of it, because usually we eat little bit... smaller :D ... back when I was alcoholic (well, I'm still, but I keep fighting to keep my self out of it) this was good reason to open bottle, (Like eastern, weekend, "hey I found my sock's ,were)... but now.. this particular Yule. I enjoy because...

There's house we live in, it's house that feels more home that any adult life "home" before. There's baking oven in this house, and I love to bake bread and slowly roast meat. There's firefplace, but funny enough we can't use both, fireplace and baking oven at the same time, because smoke issues. We have Sauna, own sauna, we decide when we warm it.
We have food (as I told you, I love food), We have moose meat, I'm thinking to make two different kind of meat.. One I .. smoke? and another in the baking oven. Then there's Salmon, I'm not sure yet do we smoke that too, or in the oven... or maybe cook on open fire.. Oh yeah, we have that tiny ... building with a another fireplace in it.. so.. there'll be food making in there. hmm.. where was I... we have Cheese, lot's of different cheeses.. hmmmmm.. I love good cheese. Then there's some, not much, candy, some turkey, and.. and... I can't remember more.. I got suddenly hungry.

Anyhow.. and... there's no more plans for Yule. Only family ( +maybe on friend who is more like family), some movies, maybe games, but most of all.. Just.. be among family and enjoy.

Anyhow... I'm a pagan deep inside me. apatheist pagan.