Right about now

I'm having 3th drug on to run, (if we count all medication I've tried for Bipolar it would be 5 plus drinking).
Again this started on nicely, had some balancing feeling but... Yes there's the darn but again... Now I've been in high anxiety for a week. Too much energy to sleep so I'm up from 5 am to next night and sleep if I'm lucky.
I have urge to do something but I can't concentrate on anything, even writing this is hard. I have depressing feeling if I'm not doing something but I cant do much so there's a twist. Only good thing here is that I'm mostly alone coupledays so I won't bother others so much but do this... Will I get over this before I go back to home?

Also I really would like to get this medication for Bipolar working so we could start doing something for the fibro, it's another damn annoyance in my life. Pain is not fun. sticky brains is no fun. And if I would not have this darn fibro I could be outside doing some labour that do not demand me to consentrade so much... But no oo.. I'm in pain and full of energy. So damn,

I did build a tiny table for flowers but because of the lack of equipment and my inability to consentrade... On anything.. Didn't work so well.

I've made some clay thingies to vent the feeling but I would love tobe able to make the detailed texture and currently I can only make lumps. Lumps and holes and teeth marks with a growling.

I just want to be free... Free of pain, free of anxiety, debression, mania... All that crap. Why must this be so hard.

Sorry. I needed this.