Happy memories

I am saddened that I can't remember much about my offspring childhood. But there is somethings.

I remember how I was playing with him at the floor and he drool all over me.

I remember how when we tried to bath him, we needed umbrella.

I remember how I took him fishing with me, and how much he loved to get more fishes than me.

I remember his absolute belief that I could fix everything.

I loved to read him stories. We read Hobbit, and I think even Lord of the rings? and sometimes I just made up stories for him and oh boy did he love those.

When he was just tiny and had a bad day, there was two ways to calm him. Either listening Metallica or me talking. I mean, those were two of my tools.

I remember how he build always and everything.

I have it still. the bookmark he made for me. once he got angry at me, for reason that I can't remember, and he rip the bookmark in pieces... and then.. after short while he taped it back together.. I still love that bookmark and use it all the time.

The first day at school. I think we walked there all three... It was horrible, but I was also quite proud.

The offspring have always been kind. Even as kid he went to talk with everyone and somehow even the drunk old people were nice to him. He is still kind and tender soul.

Once he wanted to sleep in tent after some party. So we put the tent up and went to sleep... but then.. he had eaten so much all the party food, that he got sick.

I remember how he was sitting on computer, and playing Tetris like a pro... then .. bit later I realized that it was demo on, and he only pretended to play.

memory

Most of my adulthood, I've struggled with this quite annoying thing called memory. I have hard time to remember quite simple things, things I've said, things other have told me, things I've seen, done, promised to do etc. I've been thinking that I have bad memory and try to work on it, to get it better.

Lately, I've started to question it, is it really my memory that doesn't work.

Let me explain. As I wrote just second ago, I've done memory exercise and tests a lot, and surprisingly I'm really good at those so... what?

Then... people who know me do call me to ask things about movies, actors, writers, directors and even little bit about older games. Because I know those things and I remember who was in supporting role in some movie in year 1993 and what else he or she has done. Hell, I can remember whole episode of the Farscape that I watched last time four years ago, and remember the name of the actor who was in it just randomly.

So, there was reason why my offspring and spouse did told me to write about media/entertainment (you can read those from here), because I have always something to say about something media/entertainment related.

So, I started to think, that could it be, that it's my adhd and other headalogy difficulties that causes this, not so much memory problems but the moment when I sould but something in my memory.

You see, I think, that if there's a "HEY Butterfly!" moment around the time when I should be butting something in my memory for later use, the thing is lost but I remember the Butterfly. But whit movie etc. area of life, my personal interest is so high that even the butterfly can fly around and get only small smirk from me.

Does this theory sound plausible?

Well, we shall see, when the doctors, psychologist and psychological nurses and others around me swarming headalogycal people get a hold of me what to do with me, there has been talk about try to "teach" me to but things better in my mind.

That and other areas of my headalogy game are so much of mystery to my psychological team, that we are still in the game of finding some drugs to build some base where to start building bit more stable me, with therapy and weird stuff like that, and it's fine by me, because I'm not so sure anymore, do I want to be in disability pension.